june-september

if you feel like fucking up your philosophies, read susan sontag’s on photography and underline the whole thing. if you feel like fucking up your body, drink alcohol 4 hours into getting food poisoning. if you feel like fucking up your day, get lost in the comment threads of articles about donald trump and immigration. if you feel like fucking up your business, post only vague, personal instagrams and over-use the word fuck on your blog. if you feel like fucking up your life, read some brene brown and let what you learn actually affect your life. learn how to cry. look at yourself. look at yourself cry. read poems from last summer. learn how to feel. learn how to be brave. learn how to tell the truth. learn how to be alone. learn how to not be alone. learn how to listen. learn how to befriend people you disagree with. learn how to show up. learn how to speak. un-learn fear. re-learn grace. learn by doing. lean in.

i’m learning a lot about how love and pain coincide, but mostly i’m learning to roll with the punches. i keep deleting my writings about my feeeeeelings and promptly re-writing them, because i refuse to listen to the lie that emotions are unimportant and/or that acknowledging them is selfish. i am practicing being okay with doing and knowing things one-step-at-a-time. i graduated college five months ago and am trying to figure out how to unlearn certain things while holding onto others. i started my business five years ago and am trying to figure out how to remain honest, and how to let my beliefs overlap. i live with one of my best friends and still the only way we know how to deal with heartache is by writing kitschy things on cakes and eating them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  i’m twenty-two and i am living in los angeles, and i have a job i love and people i love, and i know very, very little but i do know that we’re all gonna be just fine.